Despite all the pettiness our deranged hormones make us feel, there’s one thing I’ve learned from being petty: It doesn’t do a thing for you, OBVI.
You know that fashion statement, “Less is More”? Well apply that to communicating in a frustrating situation coupled with a temporary furious emotional state. SAY LESS. DON’T SEND THAT PETTY TEXT RIPPING APART THEIR LIFE OR BRINGING UP THE PAST (Which you both thought was resolved).
I know you want to.
But, do yourself a favor and skip the drama.
I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’ve definitely played the petty card once or twice or maybe 200 times…but after dealing with the shitty aftermath of being petty so much, I’ve finally figured out it doesn’t work and doesn’t do a goddamn thing in maintaining a peace of mind.
I recently had a falling out (well, not recent, it was last summer) with a close friend and at the time we were both so angry and hurt by each other we had a grand finale and just awkwardness ever since and NO CONTACT, except after a few wildfires happened in the city her family lived in, I contacted her asking if her family was okay.
SEE? I TRIED.
Anyways, we didn’t talk and I just hate having unresolved relationships and tension with people, so I texted her the other day. I sent a long message basically about how I was sorry that we had a falling out, how I thought it wasn’t worth being bitter and that I valued our old friendship more than what happened and if we could mend things. NOT to my surprise, I got the petty card with her basically saying “no hard feelings” (she literally ended her message with that), yet sent an entire paragraph about how she thought so many things in the past were unfair. CLEARLY, someone hasn’t moved on even though they’re saying they have?? IDK.
SO COUNT YOUR LOSSES. I tried my best and that was that. And, thinking about it, who needs a friend who’s not putting in effort into your relationship as much as you are? Reality Check: if that’s happening, you clearly aren’t valued so, oh well. No use in fretting.But I called one of my best friends about it and she told me what she always tells me, which is to just BE NICE. There’s nothing they can say or do if all you are is nice to them. And, so I was.
BUT, moral of the story: I was able to get it off my chest and resolve something. Trying your best and being kind are key. BEING THE BIGGER PERSON may not help your relationships sometimes, but it will help you be at peace with yourself.
In the meantime, remember to skip the pettiness and leave the dramatic acts behind in high school. It’s no fun. Being the bigger person is, though.
Hope this helps anyone with the struggle (which is EVERYONE because we all get petty sometimes, don’t lie to yourself).
Happy Mending & Resolutions!