The Holidays, YIKES.

I feel like every holiday season for children of divorced parents is quite the hot cup of stress (in certain cases). If the holidays aren’t really stressful for you, count your blessings.

& I don’t mean there’s always drama for divorcee kids, but for some reason, the Holidays tend to frostbite you in the ass when it comes to balancing time with your family. If you are one, feel free to follow along:

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In my case, there’s actually not much drama at all, but there IS awkward tension telling one parent you have to leave the family function to go to your other parent’s function.  THAT’S where the anxiety comes from. You gotta awkwardly abandon ship mid holiday.

After 22 years of dealing with divorced parents, I’ve been through the peaceful times of the holidays and the times when it was STORMING.

Still struggling? Here’s how I’ve learned to deal:

DON’T ADD FUEL TO THE FIRE

Refrain from commenting on the drama. Their romantic life isn’t really your business just likes yours isn’t theirs. Don’t comment, don’t ask, don’t tell. I’ve learned it’s best not to add fuel to the fire when it comes to relationships that aren’t yours.

DON’T PICK “SIDES”

I’ve always felt like I’ve been pulled back and forth between pleasing one over the other. I have friends who’ve been in the same boat. It’s a constant battle between your parents and yourself. One asks why you can’t stay longer. One is upset you stayed with the other parent longer. Both are upset you have to leave at some point. It’s never enough time for both. There’s always the fear of disappointing someone, and even if they don’t express it to you, someone is always slightly sad or let down. What I’ve learned is to not pick sides (or at least really make it seem like that’s not your motive).

Spread Yourself THIN

This is the ONLY time you’ll ever catch me saying this. It’s hard to be Switzerland (especially if your parents went through a nasty divorce). If they haven’t, it’s still  important to give 110% of yourself to EACH ONE especially during the holidays. This is the one time in life where I will not argue against driving yourself to your max point of exhaustion. Think back to finals week where you gave like 200% of your energy and brainpower in a week? Same case.

But don’t worry, you’re not alone. Very stressed out. Very broke. It’s hurricane season and it’s hard to deal. Keep your chin up!

so lastly,

Know That You’re LOVED

On the MERRY and BRIGHT side, the absolute best part about having multiple families is more people to celebrate with! You’re very much loved by many and that’s something to always keep in mind during the hectic moments.

Anyone else find themselves dodging snowballs this season?

xx, Bri

 

 

 

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