I didn’t exactly like who I was five years ago.

I was entitled. I didn’t know how to deal with anger or frustration. I didn’t know how to cope with sadness. I hardly gave two shits about my real friends or people who were genuinely good to me. I was self-absorbed and self-conscious at the same time. I was a bit insensitive to top it off.

Anyways, I’m painting a picture of myself and my mental state for you about five years ago as a Freshmen in college as an example of how someone can drastically change in a span of five years.

Let’s rewind though.

When I started college, all I cared about was partying and never thought twice about the consequences of my own actions. All I cared about was being relevant in, dare I say it, the Greek system. I didn’t care about genuine relationships, I was only for casual hook ups, and I even made fun of my friends who were in long-term ones. I was pretty unreliable, I’d say I’d attend something and only would if I knew I’d benefit from it. All I wanted was short-term attention, and that’s exactly what I got. The following year, I lost all my friends and had none who wanted to even live with me. I was messy and lazy and my grades started to slip. I took one big look at my room and then my life and it hit me all at once: What the fuck am I doing with my life and what have I done?

The point here is that it took all of this shit to happen in order for me to realize what I had been doing wrong and what I needed to do to do right by the people I really cared about.

Here’s where this lesson comes into play: Whatever you’re going through, whatever you’re dealing with, get out of your “woe is me” mindset.

Earlier, I painted a picture of myself and my mental state for you about five years ago as a Freshmen in college as an example of how it’s not impossible to change the things you don’t like about yourself even if it’s habit, even if you think it’s damn near impossible.

This is about mental toughness.

Mental toughness is knowing when to say no. It’s owning up to your mistakes and making up for them. It’s forgiving, but never forgetting. Mental toughness is how you learn and grow.

The cold hard fact is life doesn’t owe you anything. You get exactly what you give. Whatever happened to you in the past that hurt, isn’t an excuse to hurt others. If you’ve been mocked, judged, bullied, it doesn’t make it okay to do that to others. Life doesn’t balance out that way. If you’ve been loved before and then been broken, that doesn’t make it okay to break others. This is a “woe is me” attitude, that life was shitty to you, so you’re going to be shitty right back. The scales aren’t balanced.

Appreciate what you have and you’ll have everything you need. Water your grass. It’s never going to be greener on the other side. Invest your time into good people and good things and I swear good things will happen to you.

The rest of college for me was a dream. I was in a great relationship with a good guy and I made friends I could count on and who could count on me. I didn’t think twice about negative people in my life and to this day,  I don’t blink twice about letting negative people go. Whatever is good for you and meant for you will stay if you pay attention to it.

So pay close attention. Make a decision. A decision to keep the right people for you in your life. A decision to stay or leave the job that helps you grow and makes you happy. Life is too short to make mistakes turn into habits. Enough with the sob stories. Enough with the excuses. You are not what happened to you. Build your mental toughness and be a better person today.

 

REALITY CHECK development growth life LIFESTYLE menatlity mental health personal growth reality relationships