It’s not uncommon to have divorced parents, so I thought I’d shed some light on the subject.

As difficult as it is to see the most significant relationship in your adolescence fall apart, there’s many positive things I took away from my parent’s divorce as their marriage came to an end. Hopefully, these lessons can carry over and show what can be done right to make a relationship really truly work.

1. Put Your Person First

In any partnership, put your person first. The more you give, often times the more you get. I see my Dad and my step-mom do selfless things for each other all the time and they have the happiest relationship I’ve ever seen. They constantly put each other first.

2. Don’t Go To Bed Angry 

I hate the term “sleeping things off”. You don’t sleep away anger. In fact, you even carry it in your heart the following day because the conflict was never resolved.

3. Always Say How You Feel // Communicate Often And Directly

When you hold things in, not only does it backfire, but these buried feelings can manifest into an ugly resentment. The things that make you upset that are brushed away will always be there. Address your needs and wants. As important as it is to accept each other’s differences, it’s just as important to be met halfway.

4. Do Not Say Things You Can’t Take Back

Adding onto resentment, saying something too personal could cause the other person to become insecure or grow to resent you. Yes, there are going to be fights and arguments, but it’s important to stay in control and never say anything that you’ll never be able to take back.

5. Stay Consistent in Making An Effort // Go On Dates

Throughout the years, I saw my parents spending less and less time together as a couple. Near the end of their marriage, they didn’t even celebrate their anniversaries together. We would always do things as a family or take trips together. In the last few years of their marriage, my parents never made time for their relationship and it showed. This can relate back to putting your person first. If your person is your best friend, which is who you partner in life should be, then it should be exciting to go on dates as something to look forward to every week.

We all know relationships are hard work, so actually liking your person, not just loving them, makes it all the more easier. I am obviously no expert in the matter, but in this day in age of modern dating, sometimes we forget how to love properly. Hopefully the advice above can help with just that.

Penny for your thoughts?

 

LIFESTYLE REALITY CHECK arguments communication divorce life love marriage personal relationships