Safe to say, I’ve had my fair share of casual dating, being single, and also serious relationships. I’m glad I got to experience it all up to this point because I feel like I actually know myself, what I want, and what I need. I’m obviously no expert, but here’s my take on all three:
Let me start by saying that being single is fun, as I’m sure many of my peers who are single in their 20s can agree. It’s a great time to be selfish, pick up hobbies, discover and immerse yourself in what you like to do to learn about yourself. In contrast, you never have to put anyone else’s needs and wants before yours, so while it’s individual growth, it is very much so a selfish kind of growth because you never have to meet anyone halfway.
Now, casual dating is another thing. Dating is also cool because you get to see what you like and what you don’t like in someone and what works for you. It’s like test driving a car before you buy it. For me, I actually find most casual dates to be pretty boring, as I don’t like to waste my time or other people’s time especially when there is no connection, which is a no-brainer after the first date.
RELATIONSHIPS. Now, some people think of serious relationships as settling. I beg to differ. I will go so far as to say that relationships help you discover yourself as much as being single does, without being selfish, and they’re even more fun because now you get to do things you like with someone who is equally as enthused.
In committed relationships, you learn how to better communicate your wants and needs with an equal, which is something you don’t do when you’re single. When you find the right person who works for you, you become more open-minded and learn how to trust in something and someone other than yourself, which is another thing being single can’t give you.
I’ve found that the healthiest relationships come from two people who love each other as much as they love themselves. You can’t find happiness in someone else and some people look for qualities in others to make them feel wholesome, which is where relationships go wrong. When you are looking to be fulfilled by someone, you will be disappointed every time. If you are already secure with yourself, that will translate to feeling secure in your relationship because you aren’t looking for validation. If your partner for any reason is making you feel insecure, it’s your responsibility to reevaluate your wants and needs.
Now, the point of this post is to give some perspective on being single to being in a relationship. There’s no perfect way to go about any of these, but this is just what I’ve learned and what has worked for me. Right now, I can truly say that I am 100% happy and secure in my current relationship, which has not always been the case in past ones. Took me a while (and some growing up), but I can confidently say I am in a relationship where I feel 100% happy and satisfied mainly because we are open often and we communicate our wants and needs. We also have immense respect for ourselves, which set the tone for our relationship to have mutual respectful for each other. Among with similar interests, a foundation of trust in our friendship, and a very similar sense of humor, I feel like we thrive together so well because we also thrive individually. Moral of the story is that being happy and secure alone is crucial to being happy and secure together. Relationships are a journey, and while they aren’t always easy, the right kind of person for you will make everything more than worthwhile and make you feel like you’re growing into your best self while growing together.
Simplistic and Realistic approaches to life style and bad habits.