For every woman reading this, I’d like to apologize in advance.

I’m guessing about 80% of you are not going to like what I have to say probably because 100% of these tips may be out of your comfort zone.

Good. I want to get you there. Everyone needs a little push, especially when it comes to *drumroll* DATING, and we all need a reality check here and there.

I’m obviously no expert, but I have a F*CK ton of guy friends with their opinions and many single girl friends with theirs. I’ve also had my fair share of the fun.

AGAIN, I AM NO EXPERT.

BUT, in all honesty, you need to hear it, unfiltered, no sugar coating.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

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STOP COMPARING YOUR EX 

Answer me this: Can you drive a car looking in the rearview mirror? OBVIOUSLY NOT. Whatever was great/not so great about your ex is a problem of the past. Focus on your needs and wants right now and you’ll attract someone who can fulfill those. Exes are exes for a reason and if you spend every waking moment constantly comparing the current person you’re dating to your ex, you’re creating expectations for someone who isn’t going to fill the same shoes because they’re not the same person. Everyone is different. Have standards, but not expectations.

YES, YOU CAN ASK HIM OUT

No, it’s not f*cking weird. I have numerous guy friends who constantly make the first move…and second. Cool. I have ZERO girl friends who’ve initiated hanging out with a guy they like, like ACTUALLY making plans and then are surprised they haven’t been asked out again and assume the guy just isn’t into them anymore. Put yourself in his shoes for a second. If you were always the one reaching out and they haven’t asked you to hang out yet, how would you feel? Like you’re not a priority, because it’s not being reciprocated, so they probably aren’t into you so why reach out again, right? It’s a shitty feeling. Just reciprocate. Don’t feel weird doing it either. Asking him to hang out is not “clingy” and it’s not psychotic. In fact, all my single guy friends get so giddy when a girl asks them to hang out. We are very much the same. If you’re looking for a sign, this is it.

WITH THAT BEING SAID, DON’T MAKE EXCUSES FOR HIM

He either wants to hang out or doesn’t. Trust me when I say that if a guy wants to hang out with you he will make time. Cold hard fact is that it’s much easier for guys to say they’re too busy or just not hit you up instead of saying “hey, I’m just not interested”. If you have to really question if they’re interested, they’re probably not because if he was, he would pursue you. Sorry, not really sorry. And if he doesn’t have time for you, don’t fret. Thank you, NEXT.

ALSO, WITH THAT BEING SAID, LET THE BOY HAVE HIS FUN

There’s nothing more unattractive than insecurity. If he can’t hang out with you because he already made plans with his friends, don’t be THAT girl who makes him bail on his boys…or worries the whole time he’s out. Like I said, if he wants to spend time with you, he will make time for you.

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That’s pretty much it for now. Like I said, I am no expert, but I hear it so much from both ends and I learned pretty quickly in the dating pool to cut the bullshit. Dating is complicated, but it doesn’t have to be.

Of course, as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, so spill em’. What have your experiences been like?

 

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